Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.

I leave for Rome tomorrow. I will do my best to post an update or two with my Roman Adventures in the Eternal City with Fr. Ian McDole; we will soon find out if the Eternal City can handle both of us.

A Very Belated Birthday to Chuck Norris also known as Walker Texas Ranger who turned 71 last year. As some of you may know, I come from the Great Republic of Texas (still waiting for us to secede) and I love that the manliest man of all men starred in a absolutely awesome TV show as a Texas Ranger. That and watching Walker Texas Ranger was some of the best bonding time, outside of running errands all over the place for various priests, that Jefe spent with Memo. I mean, just look at him; he is awesome (yes Cholo, better than Randy Savage).       

I will now conclude with some facts about Chuck Norris:

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
3. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
4. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
5. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
6. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
7. Chuck Norris can speak braille.
8. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
9. Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
10. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
11. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
12. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
13. Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon
14. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
15. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
16. Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
17. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
18. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
19. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
20. Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano
21. Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
22. Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
23. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
24. Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
25. Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.
26. Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
27. When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
28. When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
29. Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.
30. Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.
31. Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
32. Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.